Recurrence
by Enshes
Summary: Things best left forgotten.
1. Prologue

**Author rambles:** Okay. I only know the story up to Volume 3 (basically, what's been English-translated), so I have no freaking idea if I'm violating canon with any of this crap. Doesn't matter, though, it's just written for fun anyways. My OC's name is pronounced Juu-nay, if anyone cares. I hope to get this out of my system fast, but knowing me, I'll stall somewhere. Eh, what're you gonna do?

Thanks to Plug for helping me with the fic despite not knowing the show. It really helped :)

* * *

**Recurrence**

_Stay on the road you promised me_

_I'll wait for you at the end._

_

* * *

_**Prologue**

...

God's Light.

The mere thought of such purity was laughable, although he felt nothing close to mirth. He was supine like a sleek cat, stretching his arm overhead and splaying his fingers against the white backdrop of ceiling. His skin was dark, bronzed by the sun even deeper than the olive of his heritage. He would sit by the window and let the cold sunlight color him. His ancestry stemmed from the times of Ancient Egypt, and he never felt at peace unless he could see the sun.

It was fitting, he supposed, that he should be the one to carry God's Darkness.

The entire situation would have made anyone roll their eyes and start thinking cliché, but it could be no other way. It was an inescapable fact that light could not exist without the dark. He understood that he had been born the exact moment that God's Light had exploded into existence.

Taken by force, thrown into captivity, left to rot like the unwanted mess that he was. Every incarnation cycle was the same. The white was the prison of the black. God's Light would be adored, cared for, loved, and he would remain forgotten, unneeded, hated.

_Hate._

He held enough of that emotion to last a million lifetimes. If his emotions could be actualized, he would have caused the entire world to crumble beneath the weight of his hatred. Watch it burn, watch it end. Either way he would have been relieved.

"June-san?"

The sound of her small, scared voice always grated layers of ice from his heart. Why did it always have to be _her_ they sent up with his food? If it had been any of the others, he would have dispelled them to the nether regions of the universe where they could live in the solitary cold like himself. Even though she was one of them, an enemy, he would never be able to do that, not to her.

"I'm here," he said with a sigh, lifting himself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, chains rattling. "Where else would I be?"

"Okay." The door shook as she twisted the key in the lock and creaked open, illuminating Touko's slender form in its frame. His penetrating dark eyes sought out the glimmer of her irises, and when they finally locked gazes, she seemed flustered and looked away quickly to the wall. "I brought your food."

She entered the room, keeping a safe distance from him and setting the plate of food and an empty glass on the floor. She poured water into the glass, half full. Quickly, with caution and practice, she moved the plate and the glass towards him until they were barely in reach, his chains giving only that much leeway to stretch that far.

She was close enough for only a few moments. He could have done it. Done anything he wanted, knowing he could have captured her in those precious seconds. Yet he remained on the bed, simply watching, an impartial observer as she completed her assigned task.

_Someone has to feed the monster._

Touko sat back on her heels when she was done, giving him a small, half-hearted smile. "It's really good today. I think Yatsuma-san has been experimenting with different spices. I'd say this time it was a success."

Her soft chuckle lifted the heavy curtains around his heart, a frail tendril of light trying to struggle its way through the pitch. It didn't last long, never did, but he nodded in her direction, acknowledging her pedestrian efforts to engage him as a human being.

"I'm sure it is."

Touko's finger traced the lip of the glass pitcher, the silence forcing an uncomfortable moment onto her. He could tell she was trying to think of something to shatter it, but he gave her no relief. It was one of the only safe games he could play, and a deep part of him felt immensely satisfied to see her anxiety.

After at least thirty seconds passed without any words between them, June decided to give her a break. She had crossed the line from embarrassment into misery, her eyes clouding with sadness. He would get no joy from seeing her rain.

He kept his voice neutral, even though the words probably held more of his hate than anything else he could have said. "I hear you found it. God's light."

Shock colored her face pink, eyes widening on him. "How did you hear that?"

He smiled like he had swallowed a sour pill. "Word gets around, even in this isolated death. Takashiro keeps me close, keeps me informed of the life I'm being denied. I think it pleases him."

"That can't be true," Touko said with unbidden feeling coating her voice sweet. "Takashiro-sama is only keeping you here because he is afraid. He knows what happened in the past..."

"I'm not the one who betrayed," June replied simply, confident in the truth of his words. "That was _her_."

Touko's eyes brimmed with the sorrow of his revelation, looking wet with pooling tears. "He won't give you the chance to do the same."

"That's fair." June's tone implied the opposite, a sarcastic bite on the tip of his tongue. Sometimes he swore she was only playing naive. "She gets a second chance. I don't even get a first."

"We need Yuki," Touko protested, looking passionate for a moment before flushing again, realizing too late what she had thrown out there.

_You're not needed_.

He knew that. The sting of that little fragment was just another poke in an arm that was already used to bleeding raw. None of it mattered. He walked over to the plate of cold food that she had placed on the ground in between them, dragging the thick iron links attached to the shackles around his wrists. They weren't heavy, not anymore. He broke apart the chopsticks, watching calmly as she backed further out of his reach. Just as well.

"Are you going to stay?" He remained apathetic as he began to eat slowly, tasteless food going down his throat in a bland swallow. The water was more appreciated, and he took a long drink from the glass as he leveled his eyes at the girl.

The corners of her mouth lifted slightly as her head turned down, casting dark blurs over her face with her long bangs. "You're always fast. I don't mind."

He could have eaten faster. He was hungry despite his best efforts to suppress every desire that kept him human. He thought he would have had an easier time never eating again rather than having to do without her daily visits. He had heard the real Touko outside with her brother, with Hotsuma, arguing and displaying a fire that he had never seen burning. That didn't matter to him.

She was all that was outside the void.

Closing his eyes for a single instant, food only halfway eaten, June pushed the plate away, shuffling backwards until he was seated again on the edge of his bed. He never looked away from her as she collected his plate, refilling his glass of water from the pitcher in her other hand. Cheeks still dark, she reached into the glass pitcher and pulled out an ice cube, spilling it into his drink. "You like it cold, don't you? Oh, I shouldn't have... My-- my hands are clean, I promise. I'm sorry."

"I would never get sick from that," June replied, lifting his shoulders in a careless shrug. He felt lightened when a smile lit up the shadows of her face, although she was probably only happy because her task was done.

_Until tomorrow_.

"Ah-- you know, I was thinking maybe I could bring something else here for you. Whatever you want, you know. A book, some cards, something fun..." Touko peeked at him from under her lashes, her innocence a deceptive draw. She made him feel safe even though he knew she cared nothing for him. He was her tiresome chore.

He allowed her the courtesy of the false hope that she was helping. "That would be fine."

"Which would? Do you prefer one thing over the others?"

Her earnest words were beginning to burn a little. He would end it with a stone wall of apathy. "Whatever you want." He shrugged again, tiredness coming over him and bringing his body back onto the mattress. Clacking metal sounded from his chains as he drew the threadbare quilt over himself and closed his eyes, allowing his darkness to consume him.

"Sweet dreams, June-san."

Her voice might have been a desperate illusion he whispered to himself to continue thinking that he was not alone. He could lie, but that was no comfort. The truth would always remain that he _was_ alone. Everyone else was allowed to stand with their partners, sharing their lives together with unbreakable bonds, but his would never even know that he existed. Never again.

_Yuki_.

He comforted himself with the bitter knowledge that God's Light would never shine as bright without his darkness. When that brilliant, all-encompassing illumination would be needed, it would never be enough.

That time was coming. Soon.


	2. Ascend

**Chapter One**  
_Ascend_

_

* * *

_

_Be careful, sis._

She was left with Tsukumo's parting words chasing her footsteps, the gentle memory of his smile warming her heart. The situation was such that there was the need to patrol nightly for Duras activity. They were taking turns, and Kuroto and Senshirou had done the sweep the previous night. Touko had to make a go of it alone because of another injury Tsukumo had sustained protecting the innocent from harm.

Shusei had offered to join her on the patrol, which had surprised both herself and Hotsuma, whose face had drawn into a scowl at his friend's proposition. _"Why the hell you would go with _her_?"_

She had stopped the argument before it began, thanking Shusei for his help but declining it (_thinking on it now, she figured Tsukumo had pleaded for him to help her_). She didn't think it would be a big deal to be alone. Takashiro had given her a special quickdial code on her cellphone that would ring him instantly at the press of a button if she got into trouble, and there really weren't any reports of Opasts or Mid-Villains roaming about. The low-level Duras were just multiplying like rabbits.

Touko was sure that meant something bad was coming, but she didn't have the premonition to know what it could possibly be. If Shusei or Tsukumo knew, they weren't talking about it. No one was. All they could do was fight the darkness. They had to continue winning the war.

Yuki had also expressed concern that she would be venturing out alone, almost refusing to let her walk out the door. He had implored Luka to go along with her, and though he had been willing to do as his master wished, Touko had shut him down as well. "Fine. It's fine, I said. I can do it alone."

Though her brother's absence at her side was a chasm that refused to do anything but grow wider and deeper, she was handling it. She had already dispatched a dozen or so shiny Duras, their sleek bodies disappearing into dust the moment her sword pierced them. She was unable to locate a source, so it must have been beyond her sight.

It was night, so she stuck to the well-lit sidewalks and streets of the sleeping city. Although there were occasional passersby, they were too wrapped inside their own cares and worries to notice the normal schoolgirl walking against them. When Duras appeared, she waited until she was alone to attack. Dimensional barriers weren't really necessary unless it was a powerful Duras.

She closed her eyes for a brief moment, pretending Tsukumo was with her. His slight presence was always like a breath of fresh air, scented in flowers. Even when he was teasing her and raising her ire, the comfort of him beside her was something that she appreciated with every ounce of her being. She hated to see him hurt.

Yuki had once again brought his light, mending Tsukumo's wounds to the point they would heal fully in the next few days, taking the agony on himself. He hadn't fainted like last time, but he still had to lean against Luka's side as they exited the treatment room. Touko had watched them with a strange feeling of nostalgia tugging the strings of her heart uncomfortably.

_When was the last time I was loved like that?_

Touko held more of the memories of her past life than any of the other guardians. She could clearly remember her previous incarnation, where she and Tsukumo had been unrelated by blood but best friends bound by unofficial vows. She could picture living side-by-side with him, even as they went on to marry others and have families of their own, after the war was won and the seal tightened, growing to old age. Vividly she could recall when Tsukumo was on his death bed, her ancient heart breaking as she looked at his tenuous grip on life beginning to weaken.

He was always frail, so frail.

_"Touko, I think in the next life, I would be happy to be your brother."_

_"Stupid, blood doesn't matter. You are my brother, no matter if we share the same parents or not."_

_"I know that, but still. To be your real brother, to have the blood in our veins running the same, I think it would help sometimes. With the distance."_

It was annoying. She was aware of that strange, unbreachable distance that was always between them. Even in their current lives it came from nowhere to keep them from joining together as a single being. She sometimes wondered if the other guardians felt it, too, that there were invisible walls separating them from their partners. Words, actions, promises, nothing could get through.

The incarnation prior to the last was fuzzy inside her head. It bothered her, because she was always curious to know how she and Tsukumo had been together through the ages. She had always had the urge to ask Takashiro, but something held her back. Part of her was worried that the reason she couldn't remember was because she had repressed it on purpose.

_You don't _want_ to know._

A powerful wind picked up, lifting the strands of her hair and whirling them in a chaotic storm. She angrily pushed them back and out of her eyes, hurrying forward to get to the edge of the breeze. It wasn't until the coppery smell of blood hit her nose that she realized something was wrong.

Certain that she was about to be attacked by a formidable enemy, she called upon her sword, the ring's metal melting away from her finger to dissipate into the golden sparkle that created her weapon. She looked through the whipped locks of hair to the darkness that suddenly seemed so dangerous. It had thickened somehow.

A shadow that was darker than the black was keeping out of sight, beyond the reach of the street lamps. Even squinting, she couldn't form an outline, unable to tell if it was even humanoid. She assumed it must be, since Duras seemed to prefer those forms to more easily blend amongst everyone else. "Who's there?" Her voice was strong; she managed to keep the nervousness out of it.

"Are you lost?"

She didn't understand the question or the voice that had asked it. The softness made it impossible to distinguish the gender or even the humanity of the speaker. It didn't sound evil, but evil was content to be deceptive when it chose.

"Do you love me?"

Touko's eyebrows furrowed, the second question more perplexing than the first. She found her voice to answer. "No. I don't even know you. Why would I--?"

"Why not?"

"I-I told you," Touko said with an uneasiness pulling at her, making her feel the beginnings of icy fear. There was a tidal wave of power held inside the dark, awaiting her fateful move to break the fragile barrier holding it back. Once it was free, it would rush forward in an unstoppable wave, crushing everything in its path, starting with her.

Her response to fear was to get angry. Shoving her anxiety away, she replaced it with indignant rage. Slitting her eyes into a challenging glare, she yelled at the dark. "Pervert! Where are you? Stop saying creepy things, you coward!"

The laugh that followed her words was a creepy ghost of a sound that slithered through the night like airborne snakes. She felt at once unclean and exposed, resisting the urge to drop her sword and wrap her arms around herself for protection. "You're so cute, Touko-chan."

So it knew her, that shouldn't have been a surprise. Still, it kinda was. To the best of her knowledge, the only Duras that should have known them, their true names, were Opasts. If there were any Opasts around, Takashiro should have known. He was perceptive about their movements, always knowing when they entered the human realm. He had said nothing of the sort. _"Just a regular patrol tonight, Touko. Maybe two hours, three at most. Okay?"_ Would he have knowingly lied to her like that?

She didn't appreciate the condescending manner which oozed from her enemy. Her hair bristled, and the anger which had to be forced in the beginning became hot and real. Enough games. She could win this battle with her eyes closed, who needed the light? Tensing, she threw some more words at the darkness before rushing forward.

"Who cares about being cute for you?"

Her sword lit up the inky black, showing her nothing as she became surrounded by the void. The realization came moments too late as she saw that the instant she had crossed the boundary, she was no longer part of the world.

_This is no normal dimensional barrier. I haven't simply slipped into a pocket of reality here. This has to be..._

"Are you afraid?"

The voice from before was back, although she couldn't tell in the absolute darkness whether or not it was close or far. The fires of anger slowly waned under the chill of her terror, the sickening knowledge that she may have become wrapped up in something that was beyond her abilities to fight.

Cellphone, where was her damn cellphone? A quick search through her pockets for the device brought nothing. She didn't know if it would have even worked where she was now, but it was better than nothing. _Help me..._

Her movement stilled when the connection between her brain and muscles was abruptly ended. Her sword fell to the ground with a loud _clack_, her fingers losing their grip as her arms became slack and unresponsive. She didn't know how she remained standing in her paralysis, but it was impossible to do anything else but remain there, even when her sword returned to her as a ring on her finger.

The figure melted out of the ink, becoming solid in front of her eyes. The humanoid body was tall, at least a foot taller than her in height, the entire form covered with the thick black material of a flowing cloak. The excess fabric swirled around its legs so gracefully that it might have been controlling it somehow. She could feel eyes watching her from behind the hood's prison, detached but for the modicum of amusement she had caused.

Was it waiting for her answer? She struggled to remember the question. Afraid? Well, yeah, actually she was moments from doing something horribly embarrassing in light of her fear. She could still speak despite her paralytic state, thank God for small favors. "Why would I be?"

"That strength of yours, I wonder how long it will last." She picked the creature's gender to be male, an educated guess based on the deep bass tones of its voice. "I suppose that's why it has to be you."

"What has to be me? Why are you doing this? Aren't you going to kill me? Aren't you one of them?" The words slipped out before she realized it wasn't such a great idea to bring focus back to the fact that she was helpless and easy to slay at that moment.

His intentions didn't appear to be murder, though. He was standing back, a silent sentry that might have been a statue for how still he was. She wondered if she had imagined his speech for several silent moments until he spoke again, voice gently commanding. "Close your eyes."

She didn't like to be ordered around. Even when it was Tsukumo or Yuki who tried with their gentle persuasion to get her to do something, a spark of insolence would prevent her from simply complying. Takashiro was different, he was like a father to her, so it pleased her to obey him, but this man didn't deserve that same courtesy.

"Why should I?" she demanded, sparks of fire and resistance flowing through her nerves, bringing prickling sensation to her dead limbs. She felt empowered by the belief that she could overcome the paralysis. _I'm a Zweilt, not some helpless damsel. This shouldn't even be a challenge._

There was a quick snap of fingers, and the invisible chains binding her tightened to the point where she could barely breathe. Constricted, she realized that her power had been an illusion. It really was hopeless.

"No harm will come to you here," the man assured her in an even voice that left her with nothing but empty words. He was not going to try and convince her of his sincerity, or he lacked the ability to do so with his voice that was composed of cobwebs. She would simply have to trust him.

And she didn't.

What else was she supposed to do? He was keeping her in such a state so that she would be more pliable, more apt to entertain his requests. She really had nothing else to do, and certainly nowhere else to run or hide.

Touko took a deep breath, drawing on her resolve to not let fear guide her actions. If he wanted her dead, he would have done so already. She had to be brave.

_Tsukumo, please keep me safe. Your prayers with me._

She closed her eyes.

Touko became aware of lights surrounding her, like a thousand candles had flared to life the instant her eyelids lowered. She opened her mouth to ask the strange man what had happened but choked on her words as his gloved hand came to rest over her mouth. He was behind her.

Her eyes tried to open, but she could no longer control even that.

"I told you to close your eyes," the man whispered in her ear, his breath cold and harsh against the exposed skin of her neck. His voice had undergone yet another transformation, this one so remarkable that Touko could no longer be sure it was the same man who held her.

Confusion seeped through the fog in her mind.

_Something is wrong._

His voice poured the fog over her in waves.

"He left you because he was scared," he said, shattering the tranquil silence that had come between them. "You completely consumed him, and when you were gone, he was nothing. He never wanted to know that pain again, so he brought the distance between you. But that doesn't matter. It doesn't."

Touko felt emotions spring from his nonsense words, coming from dark places, forgotten memories dragged out and exposed to the harsh light. The rage that had been cloaked by the consuming grief bubbled to the surface as his words stripped her scabs away and left her scars to bleed, oozing the hate that had been held back for so long.

"You're the only light in all this darkness. My darkness."

He kept her in a tight embrace. She was no longer incapable of movement, her mind-body connection restored in an instant. The only ropes binding her were the arms around her waist, holding her close, holding her like a lover.

She opened her eyes and the candlelight was gone, the spell broken.

She was left alone in the dark.

* * *

Hotsuma kicked at the ground, wondering how he had been suckered into shadowing Touko on her patrol. It was Shusei, that damn persuasive bastard. Manipulating words again until he was forced into deciding between two awful choices. No wait, maybe it was Yuki, that deceptively convincing way he pleaded for one of them to watch over Touko. _"It's not safe for her to be alone. I know she's strong, but it's just not safe."_

Shusei being the one to go would have made more sense, as he specialized in defensive abilities like Tsukumo. He supposed with his fire and Touko's swordsmanship, they could just rip through any foes, but it seemed always better to have a balance. Nonetheless, it was him following the girl who didn't even like him that much.

He comforted himself with the fact that he would be able to use the situation for brownie points in the future. The next time someone tried to get him to do something, he could dismiss them with a wave of his hand and say simply, "Nope. I used up my good samartian credits last time with Touko. Go fuck yourself."

Although if it was Shusei asking, he would probably phrase it a bit nicer. It wasn't that he consciously toned down his brass when he was with his partner, it just seemed to happen naturally. Shusei's cool and collected exterior always soothed his fire, made it a little less hot. He supposed that was why they were partners.

Hotsuma couldn't remember a thing about their past lives. He knew Shusei was aware of at least the previous incarnation, always reminding him of how he and Yuki had not gotten along. Hotsuma knew that much, the hatred carrying over into his current life until he became convinced that _this_ Yuki was different. It bothered him a bit that he didn't remember anything of the past Shusei.

_Why do I get the feeling that something important is back there?_

He could never ask Takashiro for any help in getting those memories back. Besides the fact that he would probably be denied just for the delight of the bastard, asking for a favor was a weakness he couldn't afford.

Besides, it probably didn't make any difference. The past was the past. No use dwelling in a time that had come and gone.

Touko had stopped about thirty feet ahead of him, looking around with her sword now materialized in her hand. He tensed, wondering if it was finally time for him to make himself known. Thus far she had only encountered low level Duras that were easy to destroy with a simply flick of her blade. He hadn't felt like expending the energy to help when she didn't need it.

He couldn't sense anything nearby, but his senses sucked anyway. That was Shusei's job.

It looked like the girl was hesitating, possibly talking to someone beyond his view. Just as quickly as things became tense, Touko rushed forward towards the trees on the other side of the sidewalk. He cursed as she left his sight. "Oh, crap."

Hurrying to where she had been standing, he looked in the direction she had sprinted. There was nothing there but an unnaturally dark space. That couldn't be good.

_Tsh. Stupid girl, why the hell would you jump into some dark death hole?_ He called on Master Stroke, gripping the weapon securely in his right hand, throwing logic out the window.

He leapt after her.

The dark void that became his reality was cold, empty, no sign of Touko or anyone else. He could hear whispers along a quiet wind, the words foreign and frightening. Maybe Shusei could have made sense of them, but they rushed in a blur past Hotsuma's ears, meaningless. "Where are you, you crazy girl?"

He wasn't scared so much as pissed off. He bet if Shusei had been the one to follow Touko, he wouldn't have been put in such a crappy situation. He was beginning to think his cursed power had cursed his future as well.

The vortex began to shift around him, the darkness taking on lighter colors that swirled like a tornado, rushing winds that seemed to touch everything but him. He was inside a desolate space, surprised that there was even air for him to breathe. He felt his sword disappearing back into the ring around his finger and found it strange. He had not willed that to happen.

_Yeah, something is fucking wrong here._

When he tried to call it back, nothing happened. He began to get the sense that he was in deep trouble, even before the wind hit him like a freight train, taking the fabric of his shirt and shredding it.

"Shit!" Hotsuma backed up hurriedly, trying to avoid the wind and also get back to the exit. It was pointless to stay if Touko wasn't there. It wasn't his fight.

He stumbled back when his feet hit an obstruction, tripping him. He fell backwards onto his rear, noticing that his heels had caught on the edge of an oddly placed rock. Even the pain radiating in his lower back didn't take away from the relief that began to seep into him. It was over.

It was still dark but no longer empty. The paved roads and sidewalks were gone, replaced with hard, packed earth. He could see the hazy glow of lights from civilization in the distance. The fact that they were no longer where they had been when they entered the strange dimensional pocket did not escape his notice. It just wasn't important. He only wanted to get back home, who cared if the walk would take longer?

He noticed the prone form to his left. It was Touko, her long hair spilling out like a pile of threads, face resting on her folded arms. Some time to be sleeping. He resisted the urge to kick her awake, blaming her for everything that had happened. Girls were always such idiots. Waste of goddamn space.

He sighed, the slight change in air slipping under his radar. It was thin, hard to breathe, like climbing up a mountain into the sky.

It took nearly a minute before Touko began to shift, stirring back to consciousness. He was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes, blinking sleepily like she had been taking a long nap. When she realized the state of his clothes, the fact that his shirt was hanging off of him in rags, showing off the skin of his chest, he saw the red creep into her face.

He sighed, prepared even before it began. He lifted his hands to his ears.

"Kyaaaaaa!"


End file.
